When we started taking CockBlock® to shows — from IML to Folsom Street — we expected to talk about materials, lubrication, and design. What we didn’t expect was to end up in debates about what gay sex — and queer intimacy — really mean. That’s when we realized: CockBlock isn’t just a toy. It’s a conversation starter.
"Are You Trying to Replace Me?”
At one IML show, a guy in a harness stopped, did a double-take, and exclaimed — only half-jokingly — “So… are you trying to replace me?” He meant it. For many gay men and trans people, being a bottom isn’t just a position — it’s an identity, a language of giving and receiving that shapes desire.
We get it — roles can be part of who we are. But sexuality isn’t a zero-sum game. CockBlock® isn’t about replacing roles — it’s about expanding possibilities. For couples who frot, it’s about connection and shared pleasure: two people meeting halfway, both giving, both receiving. For others, it’s foreplay before anal sex, or something to try when penetration isn’t on the menu. This toy doesn’t erase anyone. It simply adds a new line to the script.
“Frot Isn’t Real Sex”
A man at another show — older, and recalling the early days of gay activism — said “That’s not real gay sex. We learned to take pain with our pleasure.” It caught us off guard at first, but then we began to understand where he was coming from. For those who lived through eras where sex, identity, and resilience were tightly intertwined, that belief carried real meaning. In the fight to have gay sex recognized at all, destigmatizing anal became incredibly important — for many, it was the cornerstone of their hard-won intimacy.
But pleasure evolves. Frot isn’t “sex-lite.” It’s sex, period. Face-to-face, skin-to-skin, with nothing between you but friction and trust. What makes sex “real” is connection — not penetration. And we don't think anal sex has to be painful. With greater queer acceptance — and the internet — has come better education for younger gay and trans people just coming out. For those who are into it, anal sex can be pure pleasure when done right with a caring partner.
"That's Not for My Cock Size."
This one was quite common: “Looks amazing… but there’s no way that thing fits my [insert huge/short/thick/thin/you-name-it] cock.”
Let’s clear this up. Cocks come in every shape and size, and the CockBlock® frot toy was designed precisely for variation. Its dual-layer structure — a soft, body-safe inner sleeve inside a flexible silicone shell — expands for girth and can be squeezed for tightness.
Whether you’re on the smaller side, pushing the upper end of average, or your jeans zipper is begging for button-down backup, the toy adapts. The design took years of iteration to perfect. We engineered it to welcome all sizes and pairings.
What We Learned
By the end of each weekend, the conversations weren’t just about mechanics — they were about meaning. These conversations reminded us how deeply sex is tied to identity — and how protective we all are of the ways we express it. They also confirmed what CockBlock® has stood for from day one:
- There’s no single right way for queer people to have sex.
- Pleasure should be defined by the people having it.
- Frot is incredibly hot.
💬 Join the Conversation
We’ve learned a lot from these conversations — and we’d love to hear from you, too. Do toys like CockBlock change what 'sex' means — or simply give us new ways to experience it?
Take our 2-minute "What Does 'Real Sex' Mean to You" survey
We’ll publish the results in a follow-up to keep this conversation going — because pleasure should never be a one-way discussion.
